The Queen's Envoy (The Barsetshire Diaries) by Lord David Prosser

Author:Lord David Prosser [Prosser, Lord David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lord David Prosser
Published: 2011-06-03T22:00:00+00:00

Sunday, January 5, 1992

The Quick Trim

Ah, the pleasures of being at home with the family. I wondered what sin I had committed to deserve this.

I got up at seven and made a coffee for myself and one to take through to Lady J.

“Thank you dear”, she said, “I notice that you will need a trim before we go to church”.

Trim? Church? Was I in a parallel universe? “What church, my dear?” I asked. “And are we talking about today because if so my tonsorial surgeon doesn't work on Sundays?”

“Oh, nothing to fret about dear, I have some clippers somewhere. I can do it for you; after all I must have mentioned I used to do it for my father”.

Never! I thought, and certainly you've never done it while we've been married. Though what I actually said, to save an argument was, “Yes dear”.

After breakfast I obligingly sat on a chair in the utility room. Julia draped a towel around my shoulders while Ysabel and the cat arranged themselves comfortably in the doorway to watch the event or to prevent my escape - I'm not sure which.

I heard a click as Julia attached the blade to the clippers while she was talking to Ysabel and asking why she was smiling. I heard the buzz as the clippers were turned on and suddenly found I couldn't swallow.

The clippers touched my head and I felt Julia plough a pathway. My hair felt as though it was being pulled out by the roots.

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